Blog C: Monsters

Jealousy is most definitely a monster that I have created in my life. I don't like to own up to it so I've gotten pretty good at hiding it around certain people. Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that I do not value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than me. There is only one alternative - self-value. If I cannot love myself, I will not believe that I am loved. I will always think it's a mistake or luck. I need to take my eyes off others and turn the scanner within. I need to find the seeds of my jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building my personal and emotional security. Then I will be the one others envy, and I can remember the pain and reach out to them.
Another Monster in my life is failure. If I feel like I have let someone down then I have failed them and then I just get really moody which can affect everyone else around me. "Life is to be lived not avoided. Life is to build upon those failures that everyone has so the same mistakes are not made again. To fail is to be human, but to continue to fail without learning from past actions is to let circumstances control you. You are your own person. No one can take away from you unless you let them. Be true to yourself and keep nourishing all those things that are good and virtuous and shun those that belittle and hurt."